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I think we are mostly looking to me found and appreciated by another person, while having the opportunity to appreciate them back. And now, standing strong and alone again, we are ready to dip our toes into the idea of being loved and loving again. And here is what I’ve found to be the indicators of a healthy start.We want to become the most fantastic cheerleader for their hopes and dreams and we expect that positive affirmation in return. If your potential partner is still dramatically engaged or enraged at their ex partner, watch out. And it’s tough to get through all the processing that needs to happen before we can cut it loose and be free of the burden of our ex.You are likely to take some of the “stand-in” damage for the anger that needs a place to dissipate. But pay attention to how this person deals with these setbacks or conflicts. In my experience, I find a potential partner who has had kids (they can be older or younger than mine) is more likely to be accepting and accommodating of my relationship to my kids. Sure, it’s an interruption, and sure it puts the “special friend” in a secondary role, but it’s clear to me that my kids emotional and physical well-being is much more important than me having a girlfriend.It’s likely this is how any future conflict with you might evolve, as well. At least at this point in my life, while they are still in school, and still very much under my influence.My second son Ryan was diagnosed as severely autistic. I can’t tell you how many doctors we saw trying to figure out this diagnosis—it was very challenging. “We both had moved on, but I was instantly, and happily, transported back in time,” Hellen says.
I was looking at Donna Hanover's book, My Boyfriend's Back: 50 True Stories of Reconnecting with a Long-Lost Love, which is the story of getting back with her high school sweetheart after more than 20 years.Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick!Some forums can only be seen by registered members.A few years later they got married and are still happily together.“We both believe it was divine intervention that reunited us,” Hellen says. Lucky for us, it was very close to the same dynamic we had 20 years before.” (MORE: 6 Steps to Create a More Photogenic Online "Stamp") The Joy of Ex Frank and Hellen are part of a growing trend: midlifers who are reaching into their past to find happiness in the present.