Guys guide to dating a geek
I made him guess--and finally, he went with "nerd." And again, strangely, I was flattered.HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE ON A NERDMAURA: I've had dudes tell me: "Guys love it when women make the first move." But in my own experience, things never seem to work out that well when I take the initiative. MATT: I've never met any male who didn't like being sought out by a lass.Once you’ve found the nerd of your dreams, build a strong relationship by accepting them with all of their quirks and unusual passions., a new how-to book by Eric Smith, coming out on December 3 from Quirk Books.My general impression is that he’s interested in a relationship, but ‘impressions’ are not hard evidence and I just want to address it explicitly without my inner FEELINGS-VORTEX getting in the way.I’m really struggling to find the right words to initiate this conversation, because everything that pops into my head has strong overtones of “PLEASE LOVE ME FOREVER” and “I’m putting all my hopes and dreams on you despite only having known you for 10 weeks or so”…Good news: If you’re looking to meet someone at a convention, the epicenter of geekery, the con schedule may include events centered around doing just that.
Plot your course carefully, and follow this flight path: Make a plan of attack.There’s a heck of a lot of cultural messaging to the effect that [in a heterosexual relationship] it is a woman’s role to push for commitment and that men dread this conversation, which makes me both extra nervous about it and also kind of resentful.I would like to be able to leave those feelings at the door when I bring it up, but I’m so lost for the right words to use that I just end up getting even more anxious, and then I don’t bring it up at all because I want to be coming from a place of curiosity and confidence, not from a place of fear. He’s kind and responsible and we laugh together a lot and we are hella attracted to each other.When you’re a woman who’s into geek guys (or just a little geek-curious) the difficulties grow exponentially. Take it from a dyed-in-the-wool geek who’s seen and done just about every variation of the nerdy meet-cute you can come up with.Take the usual difficulties in meeting a man and throw in some painfully shy guys who’re used to rejection and mockery from the opposite sex and trying to win their hearts has gone from challenging to Nintendo hard, even when you already share a mutual love of Joss Whedon and retro video games. I’ve been the guy who desperately wanted the girls to approach him and the one who’s done the approaching.